Sometimes I like to read just the first couple pages of a book, to get myself started and get my bookmark in there, even when I know I don't have time to actually sit and read.
Sometimes I do that and can't make myself put the book down until page 61, when I have to because I really needed to go to bed two hours ago.
Why do I ever read things that don't suck me in this way? I just spent 362 pages waiting for a book to get good because it was the sequel to one I'd really liked, and tonight I finally decided to dump it. I'm dumping some other stuff, too. No more reading themes for now, no more categories, no more feeling like I SHOULD read something because if I don't it'll be a while before I can find it at the library again. I've been going about this all wrong. If it doesn't call to me, I'm putting it down. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself, but I need to remember what reading for pure pleasure feels like. And I think that means no lists.
The thing is that I create the lists so I can remember what I want to read. The problem is that there's so ridiculously much out there that I want to read, and I am a person who needs to organize. But I realized something was wrong when I was watching a movie last night, saw a character relaxed and reading a paperback, and actually felt envy.
What do I have to be envious of?? I read all the time! I'm an adult who works part-time and doesn't have children! I can read anything I want! But somehow, I guess I don't. And that needs to change.
I'm the same way. And working at the circulation desk hasn't helped, because now I don't even have to browse shelves to find a book I want to read, and it's so, so easy to place a hold. And then I have ten books again. Oops.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly one of my problems, Alex—how easy it is for me to pick things up while I'm at work. I feel like an addict in there sometimes, you know? Like, just walking around I see temptations everywhere. It's ridiculous. I'm going to try not letting myself do that for a while.
DeleteThe other day I picked up a copy of Confessions of a Shopaholic at the used bookstore because it cost basically nothing and looked like fun. I almost felt like I needed to apologize for buying chick lit. And then I read the whole thing in a day and went back to buy a few more books in the series the following week because I forgot how great it is to just want to read so much that I neglect the dishes and the laundry. There was no redeeming value in it at all except that it made me laugh - and suddenly I realized that was enough!
ReplyDeleteExactly! That's exactly what I want—to just read what I want to read, and not have to have a REASON. There are good intentions behind all my lists and categories, and I'm not actually trying to give my reading structure or anything; I just know that I have a terrible memory and I'll forget things without them. But they're having stressful side effects for me and I want reading to just be fun again. The Unbearable Lightness of Being is the book I mentioned in the post, the one I just picked up and started reading. I love it. And now I'm ditching all the other stuff that's been sitting on my shelf and just going to pick stuff up as I want it.
DeleteGreat idea- it's a good reminder to enjoy reading and life!
ReplyDelete