Tuesday, August 7, 2012

In Which I Respectfully Request That People Stop Judging Me, at Least to My Face, Because It's Really Annoying and Kind of Rude.

I'm getting really sick of people complaining about my attitude. In the first place, are you kidding me? Who goes around chastising people about their attitude? I'm an adult, and I get to decide my own attitude without reference to what you believe it should be. In the second place, I have to admit I find it a little ironic that I'm not allowed to complain, but you're allowed to complain about my complaining. Could you maybe just quit judging me instead? I am allowed to not like fireworks going off in my backyard, and you probably do not have fireworks going off in your backyard five weeks after the Fourth of July, and even if you do I am still allowed to not like them going off in my backyard for five weeks after the holiday, so maybe just relax about the fireworks, okay? Yeah, I complain sometimes. You don't even hear the half of all the things I have to complain about. I have a pretty freaking crappy life right now, and part of it is the almost total lack of support I'm getting from family and friends who don't even know what I'm going through, but choose, instead of asking, to bitch about my "negativity" and immoral socialist politics.

I'm just having a hard time feeling bad for you right now. I really don't think I'm that unpleasant a person to know. Yes, I post a lot about politics, sometimes too much. But I also make very sure that everything I post is civil, well-reasoned, and thoughtful—quite unlike that political meme garbage YOU post. And when you post something I find offensive, do I come on your wall and attack you about it? I do not, but you sure do it to me, and then you have the nerve to be pissy about ME posting political things. Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of that.

I'm also getting really sick of having to explain myself to people all the time. So I'm just not going to do it anymore. I mean, seriously, do you have any idea how tiring this is? How depressing it is to know that no matter what I post, someone I care about is going to read it in the most negative way possible and assume all kinds of horrible things about me? I say I think government and religion should be separate, and people decide that I have no respect for religion or anything spiritual. I say I think the government has no right to force women to be pregnant, and people call me a baby-killer. I say I think it's important to help people who need help, and people tell me that I've been brainwashed (of all the condescending things to say to someone, good grief). Each of those things is a near quote of something multiple people have said to me. If these were random internet trolls, these kinds of baseless and hurtful accusations would make sense—but we are talking about people who KNOW ME. In some cases, people who are RELATED to me. In all cases, people who supposedly like me! How on earth is that possible?

Well, it's been like this for four years now, and I'm just too tired to keep worrying about it. So here we go: If you want to assume the worst about everything I say, fine. I no longer care. If you don't think I'm a nice person without my trying to convince you of it, then fine. I don't know why we're still friends, and I don't think that makes you a very good one.

If you want to discuss some ideas, I am totally open. If you disagree with me and would like to explain why, I will be glad to listen. If you don't understand my views on something, please, feel free to ask for clarification. But if you're just looking to pontificate about how liberals are destroying society and ruining everyone's morals and sending us all to hell, then feel free to keep that to yourself. If you're just going to complain that you think I'm being "negative" about something, don't bother. And if you must share, don't be surprised that I don't respond. I generally spend a lot of time choosing the words I write, and if you can't actually READ THEM and just respond to WHAT I SAID, then I'm not sure why I think saying more words is going to fix things. Because the problem is obviously not in our communication, but in your preconceived ideas about me. And that's outside my jurisdiction. I'm responsible for what I say; you can be responsible for how you interpret it (and how you judge me based on that interpretation). That was never my job, and now I'm finally going to stop trying to do it.