Thursday, January 31, 2008


Wow. I just got onto my blog on Mike's computer, and I have discovered that the background color is VERY different from what I see on my computer. Also, I don't like it at all on this computer. So here is the thing I need to know from you:

Is my blog background yellow on your computer?

On my computer it's a really pretty cream color, just barely not white. But on Mike's family's computer it's very custardy yellow, and that was not the look I was going for. So if that's what it looks like to all of you, I'm probably going to have to change it to something else.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Post No. 105

So the other day I realized that, while I did something to commemorate my 50th post, I'd completely forgotten (and passed) my 100th post. It was the one from Friday the 18th where I posted the two newest top choices for the wedding dress. So now I'm trying to decide if I should still do something like I did with 50. Except if i did, it'd probably be 100 Things I Still Have to Do Before the Wedding instead of things that make me happy or whatever I did before. Which is less... commemorative. :) But still. I might do it. If nothing else it'll help me stay organized. :P

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

you can learn a lot of things from the flowers

Tonight I've been very aware of something that I've never liked about myself; and although I've been trying, it's hard to think about it constructively rather than berating myself.

I'm incapable of confrontation. I can't tell people when I'm mad (with very few exceptions)--I know they can see it, but I can't say anything about it, and I can't even just feel okay knowing they can tell I'm angry. I feel like I have to pretend I'm not mad because I don't want them asking me if I'm mad because then I'll have to talk to them about it. What a ridiculous way of thinking!

I can't openly disagree with most people, either. There are some people who just seem to have to contradict everything that comes out of my mouth, whether or not the point is relevant to our conversation (and, I might add, whether or not they are correct) and that just absolutely infuriates me.

And there are some people that I just can't express anger to, no matter what they've done to bother me. I'm especially tired of saying "It's ok" when it isn't, again because I just don't want to talk about it.

It's funny--you'd think getting angry would make me less of a pansy instead of more.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Well Hello

Did anyone notice how gorgeous it was this morning? The snow in the afternoon, not so much, but in the morning... It was great. It wasn't too cold, it was windy, the sky was all gray and cloudy--and then there was a beautiful patch of blue sky in the south, and I couldn't stop looking at it as I walked to work. In fact, when I got to work I sat on one of the benches outside the Clyde for five minutes and just stared at the sky because I wasn't ready to go indoors yet. Such a good morning. :)

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Rose of Battle

I just finished reading The Sweet Far Thing, the third book in the Gemma Doyle trilogy by Libba Bray. And it was amazing. Each of the books in the series--A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, and The Sweet Far Thing--is named from a line in great literature. This last one is from a poem by William Butler Yeats called "The Rose of Battle." I'm not big on poetry, I'll be honest, but I love Yeats and I love this poem.

Rose of all Roses, Rose of all the World!
The tall thought-woven sails, that flap unfurled
Above the tide of hours, trouble the air,
And God's bell buoyed to be the water's care;
While hushed from fear, or loud with hope, a band
With blown, spray-dabbled hair gather at hand.
Turn if you may from battles never done,
I call, as they go by me one by one,
Danger no refuge holds, and war no peace,
For him who hears love sing and never cease,
Beside her clean-swept hearth, her quiet shade:
But gather all for whom no love hath made
A woven silence, or but came to cast
A song into the air, and singing passed
To smile on the pale dawn; and gather you
Who have sought more than is in rain or dew,
Or in the sun and moon, or on the earth,
Or sighs amid the wandering, starry mirth,
Or comes in laughter from the sea's sad lips,
And wage God's battles in the long grey ships.
The sad, the lonely, the insatiable,
To these Old Night shall all her mystery tell;
God's bell has claimed them by the little cry
Of their sad hearts, that may not live nor die.

Rose of all Roses, Rose of all the World!
You, too, have come where the dim tides are hurled
Upon the wharves of sorrow, and heard ring
The bell that calls us on; the sweet far thing.
Beauty grown sad with its eternity
Made you of us, and of the dim grey sea.
Our long ships loose thought-woven sails and wait,
For God has bid them share an equal fate;
And when at last, defeated in His wars,
They have gone down under the same white stars,
We shall no longer hear the little cry
Of our sad hearts, that may not live nor die.

The book is over 800 pages long, but I read the whole last half of it in one day. And I wish I could recommend it to everyone, but there are a few sketchy moments in the series--most of them in the last book--so don't read them if you're super sensitive. If not, though, I think they're a good choice. I loved them.

The books go really fast because there's constant action, and they have a very real feeling to me despite the fact that there's an entire supernatural world in the story. They're about four girls in late nineteenth century England. This is the Victorian era, which I have decided is one of the worst time periods in the entire history of the world.

I'd like to write more about what I thought about the story, but it's going to take a while and I have some things to do. So I'll leave it at this for now.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I needed a title and the first thing I saw was the Hullaballoo Muse CD. Why not?

I'm very nervous right now. I'm waiting for the Christensens to get back to me about whether or not we can use their backyard for the reception, and I'm afraid of any response I might get from them. If they say no, I have to find somewhere else to do it. If they say yes... well, I don't know why that should make me nervous, but it does. Call me a nutcase.

I have so many things I need to do this week! I keep feeling like I'm accomplishing a lot, checking this off the list, but then it turns out that there's always more to do. It's craziness and I just can't wait for it to all be over!

Friday, January 18, 2008

So Predictable...

First, I would just like to point out that I knew--KNEW--someone would notice the non-wedding post interrupting the streak, and that's half the reason I only posted what I did about the weather. You're all so predictable. :)

But I'm pretty sure the wedding streak shall begin anew with this post, because really, what do I have to talk about besides wedding things?

2. Here are the new top contenders for the wedding dress. The Allyse's option from before is out--the top wasn't really doing it for me (and my mom thought it was terrible because it looks like an old temple dress), there are flowers on it (which I don't like), the beading was actually painful under my arms, and while it looked good on me in the store, I don't like the way I look in it in any of the pictures, which is actually quite a big consideration.

Here's the deal with option number one. I still love it, and my mom doesn't think it would be any less pretty in all white. However, she is also now of the opinion that I shouldn't wear my wedding dress in the temple because it will take away from the specialness of it--worrying about how I look, having it be tight or uncomfortable in any way, being concerned about the skirt, having trouble kneeling down, etc. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but also I'm a little concerned that, even in white, this dress will be too "extravagant" (not that it is, but we're talking relatively here) for the temple. So. If I end up going with this one, chances are that I'll get it in ivory and mocha and just wear a temple dress in the temple. I don't know.

Option two is actually the one I'm leaning toward at the moment. My mom LOVES this dress (she calls it the Aladdin dress because it has kind of a Mediterranean feel to her), and as much as I do love the first one, this one has really grown on me. I love the skirt, and the top, which I first thought was weird, is actually kinda cool and unique. And since I'm having an outdoor afternoon reception and everything, a chiffon skirt like this seems like it'd go better than the big, dramatic skirt of the first one. The thing I was concerned about before is that it has to be let out a little in the waist so the shoulders will fit right, and with all the beading and junk on the sides it'd be difficult/expensive to get it let out. However. My mom thinks that it'd be easier if I got the dress in a bigger size and then took it in instead, which theoretically sounds good because it's easier to take things in than it is to let them out because the material's already there. This might not work if the next size up is too much bigger, so I need to try it on before I can decide. And I'll probably have to take Jennie with me because somehow she seems to know about these things, and I sure don't.

So that's where things are with the dress. I should probably also try on option one again, just to be fair. Remember how much I liked it and everything, get a good comparison going. I'll let you know how that works out.

What else. Collecting addresses is going pretty well so far... I think we are going to register at Macy's (or at whichever department store has dishes/linens we like), which will hopefully make things a little smoother... I realized that we don't have to have our invitations ready quite as soon as I thought, which is fantastic because we need more time to get pictures done... my mom and I discussed the food for the reception and it sounds amazing and I think is going to cost a little less than we'd thought... this is all good news.

And I think that's about all the news there is for now. Guess what! I'm at the library at 11:15 on a Friday night. Don't worry. Mike's with me and we are for sure not doing homework. That makes us not losers, right?


One more thing. I don't understand why every dinnerware set I've seen has to come with mugs. Why mugs? I don't like mugs. I don't want mugs. We already registered for some normal glass tumblers or whatever, but it'd be nice to have some that matched whatever dish set we get, and geez. All mugs. Really?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Die, Winter! Die! says it is one degree Fahrenheit outside right now.

Stupid winter.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Registry Woes

Mike and I went to Bed Bath & Beyond (hereafter referred to as BBB) today and added stuff to our registry, and I am REALLY excited about a lot of the stuff we registered for there. Really excited.

Problem one: BBB didn't have some things that we wanted... like dishes. I couldn't find any dish sets I really liked. And a normal cheese slicer. We registered for some weird one that I didn't care for, but it was the only one there. And bedspreads and bathroom stuff and things like that. I just didn't find anything I loved.

Problem two: Mike and I really want all the things we did register for there, but we won't get it if we register at Target or Walmart (which we were actually going to do after Christine suggested it, because we thought about it and really--how practical is that? Everyone shops at Walmart). But that's exactly the problem. If we register at Walmart or Target, no one's gonna go to BBB, because the other two are so much easier and probably wouldn't even have to involve a trip specifically for this purpose. But I don't want people to not go to BBB.

Also it's not like we can register for just a few things at Walmart, because as soon as people see that we're registered there they'll just go and get us something even if it's not on our registry. Same with Target.

We're actually considering registering at Macy's so that people will go to BBB instead. :)

But I don't know if I want to bother with that. Should we just leave it at Bed Bath & Beyond? I'm pretty sure people will bring us stuff that's not on our registry even if we do that, but maybe it would encourage some of them.

Ugh I don't know. And suddenly I feel like an ungrateful brat for being so concerned and calculating about this. Geez.

Haha well anyway. Thoughts?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Ugh, this morning has not started out well. First I woke up at 6:30 and couldn't fall back asleep for the next hour. Then I kinda dozed for a little bit until my last alarm went off at 7:50, after which I fell back asleep and woke up 20 minutes before I was supposed to leave for class. So I got up, kinda upset because I was going to be late to class when I'd woken up two hours before I had to leave, and my head was hurting and I was freezing and very tired. It's now 25 minutes into my class and I'm sitting in the living room. I'm still really cold and I'm wearing a sweater and slippers and I have a blanket over me, so clearly this is not a good sign. Mike was sick a few days ago and if I catch it from him... it will not be awesome.

Well anyway. I'm kind of at a point where I don't know what to work on next with the wedding planning. I've started lots of things but they're all kind of at a standstill because they depend on something else, and in the meantime... yeah. I have the dresses narrowed down to two, but my mom wants to see more pictures so I can't decide on one yet. I've created the registry at Bed Bath & Beyond but I want Mike to add stuff to it with me. I haven't decided yet where the other place is going to be. All I know is I don't want Target cause I don't want to deal with them... Christine suggested Walmart and it actually makes a lot of sense because a lot of people are probably gonna shop there anyway, but I can't commit myself to it yet because it just doesn't sound very wedding-registry...ish. And other than that I don't have any ideas where to register. Also I'm sad that IKEA doesn't have a gift registry because I already know I want a lot of things there.

I haven't decided where to have it yet, because I don't think we can afford an expensive rental place and unfortunately we don't have too many options as far as family in the area whose houses we could use. I do have a few options, but one is my mom's sister and they don't talk, so it'd be kind of awkward... one is a relative up in Salt Lake but according to Mike's parents a lot of people wouldn't go if it was "that far away." I just have to say something about that, because seriously? They wouldn't go if they had to drive half an hour for it? I mean, clearly those are the people I wouldn't care about coming anyway, but Mike cares so I kinda have to take this into consideration, but geez. At home people would drive an hour for a wedding reception with no questions asked, even if it was just someone in the ward and not a close friend. Apparently people in the valley are very, very spoiled.

What else. We took some engagement pictures on Saturday. We don't like most of them, but we found a few that are pretty good options for the invitations. But we're definitely doing a round two, hopefully this weekend, so we can get some better ones. We can't decide anything on the honeymoon, but I think the latest option is just going to a hotel the first night or something and then taking a real one in the summer. That way we could save a little bit more and take one that we'll be really excited about, instead of settling for something we don't want, which is where we were headed. (The last option before this one came up was Vegas. I don't care how fun the hotels are, I do not want to go to Vegas on my honeymoon.)

And there's trying to figure out what kind of birth control I like the best, because there's something about all of them that I don't like... figuring out the bridesmaids dresses... the flowers... centerpieces... how everything's going to be set up at the reception... finding somewhere to live that is within our budget, close to school, and far enough away from student housing and his family that I won't go crazy.

Anyway. Mostly right now I just can't wait for all this to be over. The actual day of the wedding will be pretty great, but even more than that I'm excited to just be married and be done with it. The planning is definitely not the best part, that's for sure.

And I am so tired today! Is it weird to take a nap at 9:30 in the morning?


Friday, January 11, 2008

The Contestants

Okay, here are my favorites. I told Mike he's just not allowed to look at my blog, and since he's the one who actually cares about it, I guess he won't. :)

Also, a disclaimer: My hair desperately needed to be washed and I look pretty gross in some of these pictures, so don't let that bias you. This first one looked really good in person, even though the pictures don't look amazing. Of these top two, the second one is my favorite.

This last one looks really terrible in the picture, but the dress is gorgeous, especially the bottom half. Which you can't really see in this picture, so I'm gonna post the stock picture from online.

Okay, lame. It doesn't even look very pretty in this picture, so I'll try to describe it. Right under that buckle it splits and there's tulle under it. Which sounds really simple but I think that's part of what I like about it. The top half isn't amazing, but once again, the bottom half is really pretty. Problem #1. It's basically a prom dress in white. There's no train, and there actually are prom dresses that are exactly the same just in a different color.

Wedding Dresses Galore!

We went wedding dress shopping tonight! It was really fun, even though I was so tired of being crammed into really tight dresses and wearing a corset that, when it was finally time for me to put my normal clothes back on, I took off my bra with the corset and zipped up my sweater so you couldn't tell. (Sorry if that's awkward for the 1.5 boys who read this.) But I was wearing a strapless bra, which of course is much tighter than a normal bra because otherwise it wouldn't stay up, and I just didn't feel like having anything TIGHT on my body anymore. So. Into my purse it went.

I'm gonna post a few pictures (but not of the couple I'm really considering, because apparently Mike doesn't want to see the dress before the wedding) and then I'm going to bed. I'll probably write some more about this tomorrow, but it's just been a long time since I last posted so I thought I would since something significant happened today.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


I cannot think of anywhere that we both want to go on our honeymoon that doesn't cost a million dollars!
Where are good honeymoon places? Seriously. I don't know exactly how much we can spend on it but I know it's not a ton, and also I would really prefer somewhere with not a long flight. But depending on where we went, the flight wouldn't be a huge issue. But I can't find ANYWHERE in the entire U.S. that looks feasible, or even appealing. So now I'm kind of at a loss because anywhere outside the U.S. is gonna be on that really expensive list I love so much.