Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Waxing Philosophical

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."

Apparently this is a quote from Emily Dickinson--it doesn't really matter if it's not, but it sounds much more poetic when attributed to her.

I read this quote on my friend Alanna's Facebook profile, and suddenly I felt very silly for being so upset in that last post. Most things about life are temporary. That's just something we all have to deal with. So when things change in our lives, when people move on, we should be grateful for the time that we had with them, the things we learned, the memories that we'll always have... instead of being depressed that we can't go back to the way things were. If we could always go back to the way things were, we probably would, because people tend to cling to the familiar. But then we'd miss out on so much of what's waiting for us down the road; and when you look at it in retrospect, you can see that the things that you didn't know were waiting for you are usually just as sweet as the things you had to leave behind to get there.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Look What You're Wasting... You're Losing a Friend

As it turns out, I actually really like having a blog. I'm sure that I'll stop posting five times a day in a couple days, when I'll forget I even have it and not post for three weeks, but for the time being I'm going to take advantage of the opportunity to say everything that's in my head and know that anyone who doesn't want to hear about it won't have to.
I kinda re-discovered Lindsey's blog last night, and by that I mean that I hadn't seen it in so long that she had lots of posts I didn't know about. One of those was a tribute to her friends in Utah, which includes many formerly mutual friends who I don't really talk to anymore, which made me think about last year and the people I used to hang out with. The closest of these friends was Simon, and I was already thinking about him yesterday because 1) it was his birthday and lots of our friends were invited to his party at Joey's house but our apartment was definitely not, and 2) when Mike and I were sitting in the living room he saw a picture of Simon come up on my screen saver and he wanted to see more, so I started showing him pictures from last year, which obviously made me miss Simon even more. (As a side note, I think it's ironic that Simon and Phil have the same birthday, since they're two of the best guy friends I've ever had.)
In any case, I really miss Simon and Lindsey right now. They were our first two additional roommates, and they're both gone now. What's sad, though, is that Lindsey moved to Maryland and Simon just moved somewhere else in Provo, and yet he's much more permanently gone than Lindsey is. We at least get to talk to Lindsey on MSN Messenger and Facebook and our blogs and texting and all that, but Simon's basically cut himself off completely from us. I don't know why he feels like he's not capable of being our friend anymore, because it's not like we don't understand that he's married now, and obviously we don't expect to have the same kind of relationship with him that we did before-- even though we called him our apartment brother, which seems like it should have been a safe relationship. But he won't talk to us, he doesn't answer our texts or Facebook messages, and I'm pretty sure that he told Joey he didn't want us invited to his party. It's not even so much that I'm hurt anymore. I was at first, a lot. But now I just miss him. I miss the hours-long talks we used to have, back when he was having a really hard time with his ex-girlfriend and I would sit in the hallway with him until 5 in the morning with no makeup on... or when I'd skip FHE to go to Barnes & Noble with him and just sit and talk, or take random directionless drives up in the mountains. He used to wait for me on Tuesdays and Thursdays and walk home with me from campus. Then he'd take a nap in our apartment with Jennie, and I'd go to work. He would text me the whole time I was at work, and I looked forward to seeing the little blue light saying I had a message from him. I'll always remember the day we came home from church and Megan and I each had a text from him saying how beautiful we'd all looked that day, and how we went to his apartment after that and ambushed him with hugs because we thought it was just the sweetest thing we'd ever heard. And his birthday last year, when we threw him a party and decorated it with Tinkerbell. I still have my Pixie Squad shirt. I still have his number in my phone, even though I know he'll never text me again. I miss all the hours of sitting in our living room with our cell phones or laptops, texting each other from opposite couches. And sometimes the same couch. I miss using him as a pillow while sharing the bean bag chair, even though Simon was the least comfortable pillow known to man because he was literally skin and a skeleton. I miss his hats and that Brazil jacket he always wore. I miss his Game Over shirt. I miss sitting out in the hallway with Lindsey and eating brownies straight out of the pan. I miss everything about that semester, and I wish so much that things didn't have to be so stupid. Marriage is a happy thing, isn't it? And we're all brothers and sisters and all that, aren't we? So why should friendships have to be completely ruined just because someone gets married? It's not fair, and it doesn't seem like it should have to be that way.

Yes, This is My Fourth Post of the Night

Pick a favorite band and answer only using that band's song titles:

Ben Folds (/Five)

1. Are you male or female: Jane
2. Describe yourself: Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head
3. How do some people feel about you: Sentimental Guy
4. How do you feel about yourself: The Luckiest
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Your Most Valuable Possession
6. Where would you rather be: Rockin' the Suburbs
7. Describe what you want to be: Not the Same
8. Describe how you live: Mess
9. Describe how you love: Magic
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Don't Change Your Plans

Lindsey Lou, this is a fantastic idea. I kinda want to do it with other bands, too. But I don't think I will tonight. Maybe it will give me something to do on other nights when I don't actually have anything to write.

Book Game

Rules of the Game:
1. Find the nearest book to you.
2. Name the book and author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page.
5. Copy out the next 3 sentences and post to your blog.
6. Tag three other people.

The Only Alien on the Planet, by Kristen D. Randle

"My heart was banging around inside me so hard, I was nearly dizzy-- and now I was supposed to be able to untangle all these dark, weird feelings..."

I don't think I'm going to bother tagging anyone, because I figure anyone who will do it will be like me and, because they are nerds, see this and think hey, I want to do that too! and then do it on their own. :)

P.S.-- For the record, I just finished The Only Alien on the Planet and it's really fantastic. I loved it.

Quote of the Day!

"Rooster, you reprobate!"

My Blog Hates Me

Honestly. I never even wanted a blog, and then as soon as I got one and actually wanted to write something on it, the website starts being all stupid and won't let me log in. I've tried every email address I've ever had, but I can't find my blog anywhere. So I thought I'd just start over, since it's not like I wrote anything very exciting on my last one anyway, but then I looked it up and there isn't a way to delete an account, so I can't use the same URL for this new one. So basically it's a conspiracy against me, and really I think it's pretty silly.
But anyway, I'm watching Annie, and it's making me happy. I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid--and actually, if I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure I hated it growing up. But I saw it at work the other day for 4.99, and I had a sudden urge to watch it again. I seriously love musicals. They're so cheesy!
Ooh, here's another thing. I've decided I love the name Annie. Mike's sister's name is Anna, and I don't think I'd ever really thought about it as a name that I like before, but I really do now. I think I'd want to name one of my daughters Annalise or Annalyn or something that could be shortened to Anna or Annie. Isn't it pretty? I like it. You know what else? I like thinking about what I'm going to name my kids.